A Thousand words can not express how I feel...

I've had an interesting last few weeks. Emotional, nerve-wracking weeks. They have shown me things that I had never seen or, I admit, been willing to believe. This upsets me because this has broken, or maybe even destroyed, my faith in people. I've discovered that people can actually, quite physically break your heart in mer minutes. I hate that this has happened to me. I hate that because I have so much faith in people, and I always have, that someone has taken advantage of that. And do you know what's worse, that this came from family. How much more painful could that get?

Thinking about it now, I wonder how many people have taken advantage of me in this way. Because, if there are people out there that have hurt me, but in such a way to take advantage of this aspect of my nature, I just don't know how I feel about this.

I think, I'm mostly just mad, so mad. I just can't believe that people would abuse our relationship in that way. And then, what do I do when something like this happens? I know I'm angry. But also so upset and kind of resigned. Yes, resigned. To be honest, I was expecting this, dreading it, but expecting it. How depressing is that?

My Brain Talks to Me and Itself Frequently. And No They Aren't The Same Thing.

I'm going a bit crazy. Things have actually being going wonderfully for me these past two weeks, hence no updates. But right now, my head is killing me, not headache wise, more in the - Why Are You Not Working??- way. It's frustrating me, and I'm really not happy about that. I know I can write this essay, I'm actually really looking forward to getting this done and out of the way, but for some stupid, ridiculous reason, my brain just wont start for me. It wont cooperate with the part of my brain that is all "We can do this! Come on team lets work together to pump out this essay ASAP!" Stupid uncooperative brain.

It's really killing me.