Chai warms the soul.

I'm finding it difficult to get motivated right now. My head and heart just isn't in it. It's difficult to find the enthusiasm for my school work that I had in my possession last night when I was scouring my books for ideas concerning my Teaching presentation.

I actually enjoyed that work last night, before I was dragged off, or, no, I actually "gave myself a break." What a stupid decision. Though, I did end up reading the novel I had to complete for today's lectures. However, my lecturer today made my teeth hurt from the constant grinding motion they were in to prevent myself from shouting out at her that she has absolutely NO idea what she is talking about, and she should stop distorting the text.

I've taken to drinking multiple cups of chai, in the hopes that my soul and heart will stay in this constant state of, warmness. Yes, I'm aware that it's impossible. But when your heart aches over lost friends, and the idea that you don't have any friends in this new and, what could be considered, hostile, environment that is sometimes referred to as University, one will do anything in their power to stay as positive as possible.

It's not real chai. It's just one of those packet mixes created my Lipton. A mixture of khaki coloured powder, hot water and a almost scientific method of mixing. "To achieve a smooth consistancy, do not stir until all the water has been poured into the cup." Yes Sir! Of course Sir! Despite the fact that it is, rather, fake. One can't help but become addicted to it. And until I find the time, and the instruments to create real chai, I'm sorry to say that this poor Uni student will have to stick to the fake stuff. Or, more importantly, the mass produced.

I miss my friend terribly. The one traveling at the moment. I have this over-whelming urge to track down members of the Wizarding community (because they must exist) and convince them to Apparate me to her location. I want her hugs, I want to hold her tight, and spend hours listening to her sarcastic voice ramble on and on at me, a characteristic of hers that I've found I miss most of all.

I shouldn't feel so nostalgic though. She is, in fact, off enjoying the world just as I did mere months ago. Yet I still miss her immensely. I guess, in some way, I also envy her. To be able to travel once again.

I've been thinking about it recently. I want to go back. To travel once again. To spend hours on trains moving smoothly from one country to the other, watching as the trees and small beautiful towns move swiftly pass me as I move onto my next destination. I don't think I will be forgiven if I disappear off to Europe so soon after returning. Actually, I don't know if I could forgive myself. My family means so much to me right now. Well, they always have. I would have to be in constant contact just as I was the first time. Just to hear their voices.

Petty, immature me. I would be able to grow up. I am growing up. I just, need my family. I can't think of myself like this though. I am stronger than all of this.

I am. Putting aside my thoughts of travel, and my almost near heartache over my well traveled friend. Right now, I am content to sit here, sipping my mass produced Chai and listen to music that has become a rather familiar presence in my room.

xx